The Database Hack that Brought Down the Galactic Senate

On May 4th you may see more Star Wars T-shirts than normal. This is because May 4th is recognized around the galaxy as Star Wars Day (May the 4th be with you). Thanks to the abundant use of technology throughout this science fiction franchise, you can bet your podracer that we can find an IT lesson from Star Wars that can help your business!

This year's Star Wars Day IT lesson takes place a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away....

There is unrest in the Galactic
Senate. Several thousand solar
systems have declared their
intentions to leave the Republic.

This separatist movement,
under the leadership of the
mysterious Count Dooku, has
made it difficult for the limited
number of Jedi Knights to maintain
peace and order in the galaxy.

Senator Amidala, the former
Queen of Naboo, is returning
to the Galactic Senate to vote
on the critical issue of creating
an ARMY OF THE REPUBLIC
to assist the overwhelmed
Jedi...

As you know, this is the opening crawl from Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones. This famous text actually sets up today's lesson quite nicely because it gives us context for our Star Wars IT example. Unbeknownst to Senator Amidala, her vote on the creation of an Army of the Republic was meaningless because this army was already being created in a conspiracy dating back long before Jar Jar Binks single-handedly ruined Episode I.

Achieving a massive conspiracy at this level required high-level hackers. One thing that our world and the Star Wars galaxy both have in common is the importance of databases, along with the fact that hackers can crash these databases and ruin everything. Another thing that our two different worlds and different times have in common is the use of the English language. But we digress.

Like our Internet of today, the Jedi used a database called the Jedi Archives to access information about the galaxy in order to help them keep order. "There is no more knowledge here than anywhere else in the galaxy." --Jocasta Nu, Chief Librarian of the Jedi Archives.

Therefore, to keep such a major conspiracy like the creation of an army away from the pesky Jedi, a high-level official would have to do something drastic like hack into the Jedi Archives and erase all the data pertaining to the location of the new army's headquarters.

The location erased from the hacked Jedi Archives wasn't a mere military installation, but rather, it was an entire planet! "Lost a planet Master Obi-Wan has. How embarrassing... how embarrassing." ―Yoda

The planet that was deleted from the archives was named Kamino. It was a secluded water planet home to the scientifically advanced Kaminoans. The Kaminoans were experts in cloning, and long before the opening crawl of Episode II, they were covertly hired to clone and train an obedient and strong clone army for the Republic. After playing space detective, Obi-Wan was able to successfully locate the planet and ascertain from the Kaminoans the ready-to-fight status of the cloned army.

However, by now it was too late because the events leading up to the fall of the Republic were well underway, and making matters worse was the whiny tendencies of one Anakin Skywalker ("Mehh, Obi-Wan believes I'm too unpredictable. Mehhh, he won't let me move on."). Can it Ani! This is all your fault!

How the Republic Could Have Been Saved
If the Jedi Council would have outsourced their database security to Macro Systems, we could have remotely detected the Sith tampering with the files or even blocked them at the firewall, and then quickly alerted Master Yoda via Android device or hologram for some sweet green-lightsaber justice. By having Macro Systems monitor your company's network, balance can be brought to the Force and the Sith are kept at bay. To gain a trusted IT advisor that can stand up to the evils of the Empire, as well as the tyranny of modern day hackers, call Macro Systems at 703-359-9211--and May the 4th be with you!